Maybe I'm just being reflective lately, but today as I waited to cross the street to campus I could feel something. And I thought about it and wondered how many times the air felt the same exact way and I failed to notice. I suppose the air goes through cycles as I do - constantly changing yet with some method to the madness. It supports that whole theory that even though thing we see and feel change, nothing truly changes.

The seasons change, but they change the same way at the same time year after year. People also fall into this pattern. We all change, but we make predictable changes. If you know some one well enough you see how they react to certain things. You can make a fairly good guess about what they'll do in a given situation.

Everything has its order. No one knows how long it's been going like it has before the day they wake up and see how constant things around them really are, and yet you never know what tomorrow's going to bring.

Today I hung a ribbon. I don't think I've ever had so much trouble tying a knot before.

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I remember the excitement of driving into Melbourne for the first time. I can't tell you how long ago it was or my age at the time, but there I was. I remember not knowing my way around anywhere, and the turn from 192 to Minton is still the most familiar in my mind. Every time I look at it I go "that's how you get to Aunt Sandy's."

Here I am, many years later, and I've found more here than I think I ever expected to. It's funny how some no-name kind of place that never existed to you can suddenly feel more like home than anywhere else. Part of me wants to laugh as I say this because anyone who lives here knows there's not much to do and that Melbourne is far from being the excitement capital of the world.

Maybe it's the memories I have after almost two and a half years of school here. Maybe it's the memories I have of the place before I knew it. Maybe it's something else altogether.

Yesterday was Liz's last night in town and we took her to the beach so she could see the waves and the sky. I think there's a part of her that will always be here despite everything that happened. I told her that if nothing else I hope that coming here for the weekend has reminded her of all the good this place had and not the bad feelings she left with.

I'd never been to the beach with her and I could see the tear lines on her face when she said we could go. And I saw a little sparkle in her eye as she announced seeing her first shooting star ever. And I think it was more at that moment than any other that I realized how much I'm going to miss her.

It always gets me confused trying to figure out how we ended up sisters. I know I've benefited tremendously from it, but what I've provided in return is beyond me. As a whole I just see so much of her that amazes me and so many things she does that I wish I could. And I suppose that's where my soft little underbelly gets all exposed. Anyone who knows anything about me is probably pretty quick to pick up that the worst way you could possibly hurt me is to hurt her. I don't know why it works that way, just that it does. And I worry about her constantly.

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We left here around 1130 and headed toward the beach, stopping for food on the way. We stayed until after 3am leaving before the peak of the shower, and still saw some amazing meteors.

We ended up on a little no name beach that we'd never been on before. It was dark, but clear. It was high tide. It was peaceful.

I can still see the way the stars hung in the sky, and I remember how they moved while we spent hours outside.

I could have stayed all night. I probably would have.

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The Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade is on in the other room. I can't tell you how many years Liz and I would wake up on Thanksgiving and go "Isn't there supposed to be a parade on," only to find out we'd missed it. Sometimes we'd catch part of it, although never the full thing. They always started at nine and we just never liked getting up that early. There's still something weird about being in Florida for the holiday. It's supposed to be cold. I'm supposed to be upstairs in my room right now, being lazy in my pajamas watching the tail end of the parade with Liz, or getting ready to go wherever the family was gathering that day.

And it's not too far down the road from now that we'd be wishing for snow days, playing the same Christmas carols we listened to every year, decorating, trying to find when the Grinch would be on for Bryan, and maybe even popping in "A Muppet Family Christmas." In all honesty, I don't think the holidays are ever going to feel quite right again. You get to a point where they change and, as with most changes of this sort, you can't go back.

Now I've always been nostalgic around the holidays - even when I was little. There was just something about them. There was always this spirit in the air because people knew it was coming. I haven't found that down in Florida. All Christmas means anymore is time for classes to be over and a break from all the work. Sure it gets a little colder, but that spirit just hasn't come with it yet.

I could tell you almost exactly how my house would've been decorated too. And how it would've been decorated years before that when things hadn't been changed inside. I guess I'm lucky to have memories like that. I've been very fortunate.

Anyway, I suppose I should get ready to do Thanksgiving the Florida way (it's 75!) I hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday wherever they are.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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